Age: will be 32 in eight days
Three positive qualities: loyal, insightful, able to think and act in stressful situation
Three negative qualities: prone to depression, easily bored, easily annoyed
Describe how you see yourself (go into as much detail as you like): To put it in one sentence, I'd say I remain torn between idealism and realism. I can go quite far with research to prove (myself, if nobody's interested) that I was right, or to happily say my opponent that s/he was right. I prefer listening to talking, often cuting myself off from a group I find a bother: it is something taken for a kind of cold heart, when I refuse to act something I don't feel and with my occasional cynism. It's not quite true, as I'm a very insecure and emotional person, sometimes too emotional to my own benefit, trying to keep what I feel for myself to keep it under control. I am attached to a very few people, yet stronger than they may know. Valuing intelligence, I try to remember that there may not be such thing as a 100% truth about something or someone (I dislike judging people) and I may be mistaken as well, though being a perfectionist, I must say that it hurts (not so much because someone did or might notice, but because I made the mistake). I have a rather abstractive sense of humour, often on the verge of sarcasm. I believe rules weren't made to annoy me and I respect them, yet sometimes tend to absent-mindely step over them while trying to reach a particular goal. Speaking of goals, I can be pretty persistent when it comes to them, though I wouldn't say I would go at any lenghts to get this or that (it's not always worth it). When I'm interested in something - anything - I want to know as much as possible and as fast as possible, geting quickly basic information, learning about current state of research on the topic and mentally grouping available literature for future critical studies (I should've probably said I'm a philologist). When it comes to people, I respect and rather like them, though I'm more forgiving than forgetting.
Describe how you feel others percieve you (again, as much detail as you like): People rather dislike me, at least at the beginning of the relationship - I was told that one has to get to know me to start liking me. Some people praise my knowledge and intelligence, some like my "specific" sense of humour, but I have an impression that my sense of insecurity is mistaken for self-conceit, while other people seem to mistake my general quietness for not minding their behaviour and being unable to see their motives (I often do, and very clearly, it's just that I don't care enough to act). I think I am considered a rather responsible person, often said to be moody and ironical, sometimes going choleric and occasionally verbally agressive (words are the only weapon I know I can defend myself with, and I do, when I recognize a situation as one requiring defense).
Any beliefs or values that you hold strongly?: I put loyalty on the top of the virtues I respect. I dislike great injust, tough mindness, dictature of idiots and unnecessary cruelty, holding strongly the idea of equal chances for everyone.
Fears/Worries: Forming close relations with people and trusting them. What I fear most is betrayal.
Hobbies/Interests: Reading, researching, making complex literary, historical and social analyzes just for the pleasure of it, symbolology, mythological studies, 19th century French literature, 19th century in general, history of everyday life (various periods and societies, depending what I'm interested in at the moment), history of medicine, history of law, history of culture and science, costiumology (just theory), French Revolution, languages, medieval heresies, Celtic and Japanese culture, intertextualism, gender studies, classical music.
Goals/Ambitions: Teaching at university.
Favourite book/s: Victor Hugo's Les Misérables - best book ever. All by Balzac, his knowledge of psychology, concerning both society and inviduals, is sometimes amazing. Oscar Wilde's The Picture of Dorian Gray for a sheer elegance of style and precission of words. Neil Gaiman's American Gods, because it gives me thrills. Ellen Kushner's Swordspoint and The Priviledge of the Sword which I've read so many times that I may be a kind of an addict now, coming across it something like a year ago. I also enjoy non-fiction - biographies, memoires, studies, analyzes etc. on the topics that interest me at the moment, not necessairly needed for anything at the moment. To my favourites, I return a couple of times, as I do to fiction.
Favourite film/s: Bram Stoker's Dracula, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, Il sole anche di notte (a.k.a. Night Sun), Bright Star
Favourite TV show/s: Not much of a TV person.
Favourite music: Instrumental, from classical to soundtracks. Also: opera, folk and pieces of various genres. A huge fan of musicals (rather the modern ones, starting more or less from the 70s, than the oldies).
Safety or Adventure: Adventurous, trying to ensure myself a maximum security and considering adventure something happening above all inside us and not necessairly on the outside.
Introvert or Extrovert: An insecure extravert.
Optimist or Pessimist: "Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst".
Follower or Leader: Quiet, but cautious observer, prefering to go her own way; not minding to follow a just and competent leader but taking the lead herself when the incompetence of the others becomes too obvious. Power doesn't turn me on.
Hyper or Calm: A "still water runs deep" type.
Mature or Immature: Mature, unless you think that a 32-years-old single and childless fangirl, who refuses to get a husband/boyfriend at any cost is a priori immature.
Reactions and Interactions
How well do you cope under pressure?: It's complicated, depending on what kind of pressure it is. On one hand, when I said that in critical situation I am usually the one staying calm and trying to deal with everything, I meant it: I am rather not prone to panic and generally able to keep emotions under control when I know I have to think. I am usually the first trying to understand the situation and to get it under control, looking for sollutions or people who may be able to provide them. On second hand, telling me that I have to do something "just because so", while I'm not convinced, see it differently and/or don't feel like doing it is one of the worst things one can say to me.
How do respond to authority and/or authority figures?: I do respect them if they deserve the name of such and are better than me in something, considering confronting advices and other points of view a valuable thing; even if all they show me is what I disagree with, it helps me to precise my own opinion.
How do you interact with your family and friends?: My what? Not to offend anyone, "family" is the most overrated word of our times, and I mean it - as for "friends", don't take it as a push, but I'd really repeat what Sherlock said to Watson on a cementary in the Baskrville episode. An absolutely exclusive word to me and although some people understand it differently, I wouldn't use it to describe just a nice person from my working place.
How do you interact with people you don't know?: Depends on my mood: sometimes I don't mind a chat with a stranger (prefering listening to talking) and sometimes prefer to be left alone. When the situation requires of me to work with people I don't know or talk to them, I find it stimulating.
Do you tend to respond to situations in a more logical or emotionally based way?: Emotions come first, followed by logic which takes them under control and tries to get as much as possible from them.
How far would you be willing to go for the greater good?: Great words are mostly used to trick people into something flat, but if something were worth it and I were the only one, or one of the few able to have an actual impact on particular situation, I'm afraid I'd go really far, as long as I would be the one paying the price and the said "greater good" wouldn't be an anonymous group of people, letting me know at least few of them. I don't care about opinion or, by the way, my personal well-being that much, to not take responsibility. And sometimes it happens that the end justify the means.
Favourite character: Probably not very original with two main characters: Sherlock, for his loneliness of a genius, being much worse and much better person than one might think, deliciously imperfect and annoying, hiding more of a human being behind the brain that people, including himself, may suspect; Watson, whose patience should have won him a Nobel Peace Prize and whose absolute loyalty to Sherlock, no matter what happened in Baskerville or was said on the rooftop, totally melts my heart.
Which character do you feel you are most like?: I don't want to push.
Which character do you feel you are least like?: As above.
Anything else?: English is my second languge - just to let you know, if I messed something in what I wrote.
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